Tuesday, April 2, 2013

La Vie Dansant


One of the good things that happened was that I "earned my spurs" and could be part of the Wild Hornpipe, a dance that was always the climax of any of our shows. Another high point was Strings of Fire. Traditionally, it had been danced only by the girls. The music is from Lord of the Dance and Feet of Flames, is about four minutes long and is fast. Our teacher designed a choreography to the music and one year, she opened it to anyone who wanted to learn it. I jumped at the chance. That became a bit of a sore point for Sara but we got past it. Another high point was finally learning a treble reel. That's a reel done in hard shoes and is very fast. 
So, here I sit at the Irish Dance world championships (Oireachtas Rince na Cruinn for those of you who parlez Gaelic) finding myself caught up in Irish dance again. As I think back on how a Jewish kid from New York got caught up in the world of Irish dance, I can only make reference to a line from the Grateful Dead's song, Truckin': "What a long strange trip it's been."

My first taste of Irish dance (henceforth ID 'cuz it's shorter to type) came when Riverdance first came to the U.S. I clearly remember, we were staying at the Bearskin Neck Motor Lodge in Rockport, MA getting ready to drive to nearby Gloucester to go on a whale watch. I had the Today Show on and they had the Riverdance company on, dancing on the street outside the studio. They did the final number of the first act and I remember being blown away by the precision of the company. I had never heard of ID before but there are lots of things I've never heard of. That was my first taste and I didn't think much about it after that...until...

...my daughter Sara, having also discovered ID (and falling head over heels in love with Michael Flatley) began taking lessons as an adult. (She's very, very good and will make an excellent TCRG (officially certified ID teacher) when she passes the exam. She's always been a good teacher as an assistant and has taught me well, but more on that later.) Anyway, I was dragged, kicking and screaming to my first dance recital to watch her dance. I remember that she was part of a ceili (that means group dance) with several other adults. One dance they all dressed up like hillbillies because it fit the music. Looking at the adult guys dancing, I noted that they were about my age. The thought came to me, hell, if they can do it, maybe I can. (Digression #1: That was really an amazing thought because when it comes to most types of dancing, I have four or five left feet. But it looked like a lot of fun.)

This was at the time that Sara (and, sorry, dear, but it's a necessary part of my story so suck it up and grin and bear it through this part) was engaged and we were planning the wedding. I knew she and a bunch of the other dancers were planning on performing at her wedding reception. Without saying anything to anyone, including my wife Joy, I bought a how to do ID video featuring Colin Dunn. I planned on learning a simple step and surprising Sara at the reception. Now, I thought this was a beginner's how to do ID video. Let me tell you, that even at the height of my ID career, I couldn't do what he was teaching in that video. So, I assumed that ID was yet another form of dance at which I was incompetent and abandoned the idea.

The wedding was at the end of May and some time in April, Sara competed in a feis (pronounced fesh, and is a local ID dance competition) where they had a parent-child competition. She came home and announced that I was going to learn how to do ID so that we could compete together. (Digression #2: Subsequently she learned that it was only for children UNDER a certain age, but she neglected to mention this discovery.)

Sooooo, there I was, at her ID school during the summer, learning how to do threes and sevens and over two-threes. What may you ask are threes and sevens and over two-threes? They're the basic steps on which almost all ID is built. Oh, I was a pathetic sight. Sara, our dance teacher's two youngest daughters and two of the older teen girls, (Erika and Kim) worked with me. One of the older teens told Sara that she didn't think I would EVER be able to do anything. One day, Sara said to me, "Do you remember wizarding?" (Digression #3: when I was in college, sometimes, we and my frat's little sisters, would make like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz and go wizarding across campus, like we were on the Yellow Brick Road. That step they did was a three.) So after Sara pointed out that wizarding was a three, I finally got it. Ta-da, the first breakthrough. The sevens? Well, that would get better later...much later. The over two-threes? There you lift your lead leg and jump the other one from the back OVER the lead leg, hence over two-three. That one took a while, too, until she likened it to running over a hurdle, a track event I had competed in when I was in high school.

So armed with this wee bit of dance skill, Sara suggested we go to adult dance class when it started up in September. I was game. Adult dance was a very relaxed evening of ceili dance. At that first session, I was introduced to the 4-hand reel and the 8-hand reel. (Digression #4: 4-hand just means four people are dancing together.) It was fun. I stumbled all over myself and only got to the right place at times because my partner In the 8-hand, Liz, was a strong and experienced dancer. My partner in the 4-hand, Kathy, was as new as I was. When we were done, we all sat down and our teacher said, "Who wants to dance in the Oireachtas?" Sara put up here hand and said to me, "Put up your hand." I said, "Huh?" and she repeated herself. So I put up my hand. What the heck? In for an inch, in for a mile.

Through the fall I went to adult dance on Friday nights, got relatively comfortable with the 4-hand reel, mildly conversant with the 8-hand reel, and got to know my partners (same ladies as the first night). And then came the weekend before Thanksgiving, the weekend of the New England Oireachtas.

It was at a hotel in Stamford, only about an hour and a half drive for us. We were meeting up with one of the other male dancers whose son was competing and who was staying at the hotel. I changed into our costume (white shirt, red tie, blue jacket, red sash and kilt with black knee socks), and Richard promptly took me to the bar for a drink. He always liked walking around in the kilt chatting up the ladies. (He was married but he liked doing it just for the fun of it.) The hotel where it was held was too small and the halls were MOBBED. Erika and Kim spotted me and I must have had a terrified look on my face because they both took me aside and reassured me that everything would be all right.

I don't remember a whole lot about the competition itself. One thing I do remember is that the team that won was composed of a bunch of dancers who were about to become TCRGs which meant they wouldn't be able to compete anymore. It was kind of like being on a softball team that plays two or three times a year and having to play the 1961 Yankees. That aside, our 8-hand placed fourth (OK there were only four teams) but we danced well enough that the judges awarded us fourth place medals.

I was hooked.

When regular classes started up again after the holidays, I was part of the all-boys class. I started to learn the baby jig and baby reel. Like anything that I get interested in, I threw myself into it whole hog. I prevailed on my (at-the-time-but-not-too-much-longer) son-in-law to make a small dance floor in the basement and dutifully, I'd go downstairs and practice. And drive Sara nuts with questions. It got to the point where I asked so many questions that she dreaded whenever I started asking something about dance. Suffice it to say, I took it way too seriously. I mean, I started ID at the age of 49, never having danced a step as a young man, let alone a child. Needless to say, Michael Flatley had nothing to fear from me as a competitor.

That fall, once again, adult dance, for some of us, became prep for the Oireachtas. In 2001, our mixed (that means men and women) 4-hand consisted of Sara, Scott, Kathy and me. We also had a mixed 8-hand team but this time Kathy was my partner. (Digression #5: With the exception of 8-hands in the nationals in 2005 and the New England Oireachtas in 2004, Kathy has been my dance partner in every competition in which I have danced on a ceili team.) I don't remember the results of the 4-hand but one of the judges placed our 8-hand first...and (even to that judge's surprise), we finished second. Sara explained that ID politics become obvious in the large competitions. Naive little me, however, didn't believe it. I mean, fair is fair. Right? One of the more humorous things occurred while we were waiting for our competition to begin. The five boys who were in the Boys age 13-14 competition were loosening up near where we were standing. A couple of them were doing high kicks which I recognized as behavior wherein they were attempting to intimidate the others, marking their territory, so to speak. One of them came damn close to kicking Kathy in the face, not once, but twice because he was not paying attention to what was going on around him. Tis not often that I can intimidate ANYONE, let alone by simply looking at them. But I succeeded with this kid. Petty though it was, twas satisfying, indeed.

As the next year of dance started, there was no longer an all-boys class, so I was, for the first time, in with the younger girls. Some of them looked at me like, "Who was this old man in their dance class?" What made me feel pretty good, however, was that as some of the dance moms got to know me, they accepted me as one of the dancers and realized that I wasn't dancing because I just wanted to be around young girls.

Sara, by this time, was one of the official assistant dance teachers and she was one of the teachers in our class. Now, if I by the time I get home I can remember a new step, I can practice it sufficiently to not look totally incompetent by the next week's class. The chances of me getting home and remembering it, however, hover between slim and none. Inevitably, I would have to pester Sara so that I could write it down. Stupidly, I would pester her as soon as she got home and there was additional friction. And having her write it down for me was problematic because her dance "language" was different from mine. She knew the right terms for things that I would give my own terms for and it would confuse me, so more questions until I translated it and wrote it down myself.

This was also the year I got my first pair of hard shoes. (Digression #6: When you see Riverdance or Lord of the Dance, those dances with the stomping-like noises are done in hard shoes.) Now, in addition to the soft shoe jig and reel I was exposed to the hornpipe, a hard shoe dance. This was the point where I began to discover one of my inherent physical limitations. At the age of a half-century, I lacked sufficient flexibility in my ankles to be able to do an effective treble. (Digression #7: A treble is where you make a noise with the front of the shoe as you move it forward than a second noise as you quickly pull it back.) Our dance teacher repeatedly tried to get me to do clean trebles but I was able to do it only if I was moving my foot slowly. If I tried it at dance speed, I got maybe 1 out of 4 and even that one wasn't that clear. To her everlasting credit, Sara diagnosed it right from the start. Because my ankles were too stiff for me to get high on my toes, I was unable to do trebles well. This issue would be a long-festering sore point with our teacher until I finally said (years later) it was just physically not possible for me to do them any better. Another place this limitation rears its ugly head is in turnout, the necessity of rotating the ankle so that the feet form a pronounced vee with the heels as the meeting point of the sides. When I try to do a heel click, I have problems rotating far enough to allow me to click the heels. It also made over-crossing the legs difficult. And don't even get me started on rock-rocks and rear trebles....

That year (2002), the Oireachtas was in Stamford but at a different, much larger hotel. We only had enough for a 4-hand and we had two other people, Richard and Linda, with Kathy and me. I think we were the only adult mixed 4-hand entered that year so we placed first. Now, that may sound like a bit of a gimme, but if there's only one competitor and the judges don't believe an award should be given, none is given. But we did receive the medal for it.

We even felt confident enough to enter a feis. Sara was competing at a feis in Danbury and one of the categories was adult ceili. We entered and Sara was one of the 4-hand. Her individual competition came before the ceili competition. She started out beautifully and was doing great...until her ankle twisted and she went down hard. Her ankle was badly sprained and we had to take her to the hospital. As it happens, we were the only team entered in the ceili competition. That meant we finished second out of one team.

2003 was a mixed year for me. I was diagnosed with hyperparathyroidism. It's a condition that causes osteoporosis and can only be addressed surgically. That August I was operated on and was just feeling well enough to start dance classes in September. Richard, who was a chiropractor, told me that all the dancing had helped prevent my leg bones from becoming too brittle from the osteoporosis. Being a half century plus one year old, I felt compelled to ask my doctor why he had not yet ordered a colonoscopy for me. Turns out he had forgotten. So the week after the 2003 Oireachtas, I was scheduled for it. That year, they had moved it to Newport, RI. It was just our mixed 4-hand from our school in the adult competition, the same one as the year before. Kathy noticed that all day I seemed to be agitated about something. Normally SHE would get agitated before we competed. While we were waiting, I dozed off...and woke up crying hysterically. I was having a full-out panic attack about the colonoscopy. Sara was there to watch us and didn't know what to do so she called Joy who, more or less, talked me down. One large bourbon later, I was more or less, intact. There were four teams that year and we did not dance well and finished fourth and did not place. All in all it was a rather dismal Oireachtas. (Digression #8: The colonoscopy went just fine. Get enough tranquilizers in me and you CAN get an IV in my arm. By the way, 2013 is 2003 plus 10 years so I'm due again this year.)

In this period (mid 2000's) dancing classes tend to kind of mush together in my memory. What I do recall about these years is that I was always in the class that was composed of the kids who were never going to be great dancers and the kids who might have been that good if they bothered to practice. Guess which group I fell into....Things that I do remember consist of some really good and some really bad things. Somewhere in this period, I had several evenings in class where I got so frustrated that I was practically in tears (part of the taking it WAY to seriously thing) and left class early vowing to give it all up.


Sara and I dancing a treble reel at a fund-raiser

Usually we would open a show with a number that consisted of three slip jig steps, five soft shoe reel steps and three and a half treble reel steps. I had come far enough that I was good enough to move from the soft shoe reel part to the treble reel. (By about 2006, whenever we would do a performance, our teacher would have me organize who was doing which step in the treble reel. That wasn't because I was that good at it, it's that I was an adult. But that was okay.) Another good thing was learning to dance St. Patrick's Day, one of the traditional hard shoe set dances.

One of my abject failures was in keeping several boys from quitting. Our dance teacher would often sort of "assign" one of the younger boys to shadow me, partly because I was an older male who danced. The thing that I really wanted to get across to these boys would have been totally lost on them. They were at that age when girls were viewed as icky. Even f I had told them, they would never understand how good it would be when they were teens and their hormones went into overdrive. How great would it be to be the only boy surrounded by all these beautiful girls? Alas, they were too young to understand and a number of them cycled in then out of the school.

In 2004, the New England Oireachtas was in Cambridge, Mass. Our teacher decided several things. The good thing was that the 2005 nationals were in Philadelphia and  she wanted to enter an adult mixed 8-hand team, so we put it together for the Oireachtas. The not so good thing was that she decided that rather than do the 4-hand reel, we were going to do the Humours of Bandon. What you may ask is the difference? Well, I'll tell you. A jig is done at a faster tempo than a reel. In fact there was once an ID conditioning video called Jig Don't Jog. It's aerobically challenging. And our teacher was having no truck with our whining about Humours (which I will always refer to as Humor's Abandoned because there's nothing funny about having to dance it).

Because we needed to be sure we had enough people for the 8-hand, we convinced one of the other dance dads to learn the 8-hand as a back-up. Now, one of the gents (Digression #9: In ceili dancing, the person who lines up on the left side in every pair is referred to as the gent and the one on the right as the lady even if only women are dancing the ceili. If a man is dancing, however, he MUST dance as a gent and if there is only one man, he is by definition in the "top" (lead) gent position.) So our newbie, Bob, was, to be kind, the weakest of the five gents we had ready to dance. Also, in the 8-hand, our teacher had me paired with Becky rather than Kathy, an anomaly to me, to say the least. The 8-hand has four couples which means that two are the top couples. The other top gent was our dance teacher's husband. He was privy to info that none of us were. He, alone of all of us on the ceili team knew that we were the only school entered in the adult competition. That led him to tell Bob that he was going to dance so that Bob could earn a medal. Needless to say, Bob was less than prepared for this news. One of the ladies whose name I will not mention then threw a hissy fit because SHE was in the competition to win and didn't think Bob deserved to be dancing with us. Now, she was not all that good a dancer herself and Sara, who was also on the team, came close to shredding her because we all loved Bob and he is one of the nicest guys around. Our 4-hand team was Kathy and me, Becky and Linda. The other team was the other four (except our dance teacher's husband subbed for Bob because Bob had never danced Humors). Needless to say we came home with the gold for the 8-hand and our team took the gold for the 4-hand.

Our 8-hand from the Nationals

That July, we went to Philadelphia for the Nationals. We knew that we were not a great team but we were plucky and had game. There were five adult teams competing. Guess where we came in the standings. Bet you got it in one. So we had no expectation of anything and most of us skipped the awards ceremony. Strange as it is to say, although we placed fifth, we placed and were rewarded with medals. So all of us can honestly say that we received a medal in a national championship. That also marked Sara's last ceili competition. From then on, Sara was the official unofficial coach of our 4-hand team.

The humorous thing that happened at the Nationals involved photography. I decided that Sara and I would get our picture taken in our dance costumes by the professional photographer as a gift for my mother. He lined us up and was making chit-chat while he set up. Noting the age difference, he asked if we were teacher (meaning me) and student. I immediately answered in the affirmative, pointing to Sara and saying, "Teacher," and pointing to me and saying, "Student." He got a very perplexed look on his face and dropped the conversation immediately.

That was also the summer that I entered my first adult solo competition. I entered the North Haven Feis in the adult light jig category. Unlike the large competitions, men and women dance against each other in the same event. There were nine or ten competitors and I was the only man. By this time, my light jig was very precise and I did the two simplest steps. (Digression #10: One of our dance teacher's maxims was to dance a simple step well is better than dancing a complex step not so well.) When the competition was over, Sara told me that I had won. I didn't believe it, though. At least I didn't believe it until the results were posted. She said she knew I had won because I was the only one who actually stayed on time. I had been concerned because my kicks don't even come to waist height. That's another one of those body and age limitations. I have learned the hard way that if I try to kick too high I will pull my hamstring.

Also that summer, our dance teacher took parts of that year's recital and expanded them into a full-scale dance show, to be presented in September. Coincidentally, Joy was having surgery at the beginning of September. The show was her first outing after the surgery. Okay, the majority of the audience was composed of the same people who normally composed the audience for the recitals. And no one was going to mistake us for the touring company of Lord of the Dance. But having said that, it was a lot of fun to do and all of us could say that we had been part of a full stage production with live music.

I think it was also this year when our teacher decided that she wanted to encourage the younger dancers to learn Strings of Fire. One Saturday she had all of us who knew the choreography and all of those who wanted to learn it come for a special class session. She put the six of us who had done it in performances in our normal places and then assigned one of the younger kids to each of us. The girl who won the booby prize (me) was one of the younger girls I kind of knew and was one of Sara's students in the basics who Sara felt would become a very good dancer. Well, when everyone lined up, little Kelly (and she was tiny at that age) looked at me with a look that shrieked, "Why do I have to dance with the old guy?" We got through it all right. And Kelly? She progressed quickly to become one of the really, really good dancers and she and I became close friends.

By this time, I was coming around to the conclusion that no matter how hard I tried, no matter how much I practiced, I had maxed out in terms of becoming a better dancer. There was just no more there, there. So I accepted that limitation, did as many performances as I could, and continued to dance in a couple of feisanna. I continued winning the light jig competitions for adults and almost felt guilty because it seemed too easy.

Our 4-hand had settled down by 2006 into the team that would stay together until after the 2009 New England Oireachtas, Kathy and me, Carolyn and Linda. With this group, one of the things I found humorous was that at the towering height of 5' 6" I was the tall one. In both 2005 and 2006, the Oireachtas was back in Stamford. We worked hard and were getting very good as a team, partly because Sara was coaching us. We were also able to dance at Kathy's sister's house on our own time to practice. Those two years we won first place (yeah, okay we were the only team entered in the adult mixed 4-hand, but damn it, we were good and we deserved it).

In 2007, the Oireachtas was, once again, in Stamford. That year we had competition from another mixed 4-hand. Rather than have both teams dance on the stage at the same time, we went in sequence. We danced, then they danced. After watching them, we were extremely jazzed because our teacher had picked up a couple of clear errors in their performance. And sure enough, when the results were announced...we were second. I will tell you, it was a rather glum 4-hand that went up to receive our silver medals. Sara shook her head and just said, "politics". By this time, our teacher had adopted the attitude that if we wanted to enter, we could, but we needed to practice on our own. So Sara became our one and only coach.

When 2008 rolled around, the four of us decided, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me," and we decided to save our money and pass on the New England Oireachtas for the first time. I will say, when November came around, the four of us looked at each other and we kept asking ourselves if we had made a mistake. We really missed it.

After talking it over, (the four of us and Sara) we decided that we would take the entire year of 2009 and practice all year and get killer good. Sara worked us hard and picked apart every little flaw she could spot. We became precise, coordinated as never before and much better than we had ever been. Brimming with confidence and a bit of cockiness, we traveled to Providence, RI and entered that year's Oireachtas. The same team we had danced against two years earlier was there and once again we went first. Our teacher spotted one flaw in our performance, one that we were all aware of. So, nervously we watched the other team. And sure enough, they committed two errors, so obvious that even my wife spotted them. So we felt pretty damn good. And sure enough, at the awards ceremony, we were rewarded for all our hard work...with the silver. And that was it for us.


The 4-hand from our last year competing, me, Kathy, Carolyn and Linda.

After that, I continued going to class but my heart was no longer in it. I was feeling very much like the old man. The kids in the class seemed to be getting younger. I felt more and more out of place. I was going through the same steps year after year. And rather than staying at one level, I was beginning to regress because the aches and pains in my knees and feet were becoming more pronounced. So I made the painful (no pun intended) decision to stop. Trust me. I won't be missed.

At about the same time, Sara left the school due to her moving to the other end of the state. She kept up on her dancing, however. Last summer she went down to New York City for a dance workshop. There, she met a woman who is extremely experienced in ID who asked her why she was not studying for her TCRG. This started her thinking and she has decided to go for it. As a result, she needs dancers for her to gain experience in teaching the ceili dances. Now I feel like Michael Corleone in Godfather III. "Every time I think I'm out, someone pulls me back in!" Whenever she puts together a group for practice I'm there.

And if the truth be told, watching the competitions at the worlds here in Boston, I can honestly say that I miss it. Just don't tell Sara, or when she gets her TCRG, she'll have me back into it.

Monday, January 28, 2013

Sometimes, All I Need is the Air That I Breathe



A few weeks ago, (the night of December 26, in fact), I had posted a status on Facebook that I was ensconced at the Courtyard Hotel in Farmington, wired up like an astronaut (or maybe a lab rat) for a sleep study. I haven’t said much about it since then and for anyone who cares, here’s the whole story.

Sometime in late November, Joy couldn’t sleep one night. She was awake in bed reading while I lay blissfully unaware, asleep and snoring. [Let me digress a moment and tell you that my father had one of the worst snoring problems you can imagine. How my mother put up with it I have no idea. It was so bad that it reached the degree of sounding like snoring you’d hear in a cartoon or Three Stooges movie. I’m not that bad but apparently I, too, snore.] Anyway, there I was, sleeping and snoring…until I stopped snoring. Joy noticed that not only was I not snoring, I wasn’t breathing. She started counting and when she got to twenty or so, she shook me and told me to roll on my side. [Another digression. Joy, prior to her weight loss surgery, had been diagnosed with Obstructive Sleep Apnea. In her case, she was in the passenger seat with her mother driving and she dozed off. Her mother, a retired nursing instructor, noticed that she was periodically stopping breathing. A sleep study or two later and she was diagnosed and had to sleep with a CPAP (Constant Positive Air Pressure) machine that forced her to keep breathing by keeping the air passage open while sleeping. She has not needed it since the day after her surgery. This is a long way towards saying that she knows a thing or two about sleep apnea.]

After that experience, she told me that I had to call our primary care physician. I called and left a message. I was home from work by the time he called. When I told him what had happened, he started asking about my observations. I told him that since I was sleeping, I had no observations but Joy could tell him what she had observed and I handed the phone to her. The first thing he said to her was, “Congratulations, you may have saved your husband’s life.” After they talked for a while, she handed the phone back to me and he said that he was going to order a sleep study for me ASAP.

ASAP turned into three weeks, not because the sleep lab was tardy. No, they called the day after and got me scheduled ASAP. But a bad cold that segued into a sinus infection and bronchitis forced me to postpone it. I scheduled it for December 26. Of course, that day, it chose to snow. Not a nice, fluffy, powdery, man is it cold out snow. No, it was a just under freezing point so it could snow but be heavy and sticky and messy snow. But there I was at the Courtyard where the sleep lab was located (and getting there was a real skid-fest). The technician (who came from a much farther distance than I did, was SO happy to see me. Everyone else scheduled that night had canceled.

So, after being wired up, I climbed into bed around 9:30, watched TV until I felt sleepy and turned off the light around 10:15. The technician woke me up (I later discovered around midnight) to tell me that I had stopped breathing and that she needed to put a CPAP on me. I slept the rest of the night with it. When the technician woke me up, she told me that I did have several episodes of sleep apnea. At one point my oxygen saturation had dropped to 75%. (A 6% drop is considered an “episode” so 25% is significant. Before I left she asked me if I wanted to take the CPAP mask I had used with me. I declined and said I was going to hope for the best.

January 1 we left for our cruise, returning January 13. While we were away I had gotten a call for me to make an appointment for the follow-up to get the results. I made the appointment, expecting the worst. It turns out it was NOT the worst. I only have moderate obstructive sleep apnea, not severe. It seems that at the worst, my oxygen saturation had dropped to 68%, dangerously low. That was what prompted the technician to put the CPAP on me. I had averaged over thirty “events” an hour. That means I had stopped breathing on an average of once every two minutes without the CPAP. Bottom line: Despite my optimism, I need to sleep with a CPAP.
I started looking around on the Internet about obstructive apnea and a lot of seemingly disconnected things started falling into place. First off, I wondered how I had developed it. I’m somewhat overweight 
but not obese. I found this list of risk factors:

·                   Being male
·                   Being overweight
·                   Being over age 40
·                   Having a large neck size (17 inches or greater in men and 16 inches or greater in women)
·                   Having large tonsils, a large tongue, or a small jaw bone
·                   Having a family history of sleep apnea
·                   Gastro-esophageal reflux, or GERD
·                    Nasal obstruction due to a deviated septum, allergies, or sinus problems

With the exception of the neck size, I had all the risk factors. It also seems that the reason I woke up most mornings with a headache can be traced to the apnea. They’re not sure what the connection is but seems undeniable. Apnea also leads to hypertension and high cholesterol. My blood pressure has been higher than I would expect and I am on cholesterol medication even though my diet is not horrible. The negative pressure created by not breathing can cause stomach reflux, something that has occurred a number of times in the past year. Another symptom is being constantly sleepy during the day. Any chance I got I would take a nap…or simply doze off.
Something that happened a number of times, although not in the last 25 years or so was that on several times, I would wake up and be paralyzed from the neck down. It would take several minutes for me to be able to move. I had concluded that the reason for this was that I had been sleeping in a certain way and that I must have pinched the nerves or spinal cord at the level of my neck. What I have, since, learned is that when we are in REM sleep, the brain shuts the body down so that we do not “act out” our dreams. There is a form of sleep disorder where REM sleep is interrupted and the sleeper awakens before the brain has restored motion to the body. Although this hasn’t happened recently, it placed me on the sleep disorder spectrum long before apnea.
What my doctor meant by telling Joy that she had saved my life is very simple. Obstructive sleep apnea has been linked with increased risk of stroke, heart attack and type-2 diabetes. The stress that lack of oxygen places on the heart weakens the heart. The increased risk of cholesterol leads to plaque build-up. Although a good diet and regular exercise are still necessary, addressing the apnea decreases the risk factors significantly.
I saw the sleep doctor on Monday. On Wednesday I got a call from the medical device provider and made an appointment for the following day. That morning, I went to get checked out on the CPAP. It’s actually rather small and comes in two pieces, the air pump and the humidifier. The mask they had selected for me is not so much a mask as a thick oxygen cannula. The plugs that actually blow air into my nostrils act as seals to prevent the air intake from leaking. [Yet another digression: The way a CPAP works is it provides a constant flow of oxygen (the constant positive pressure part). It forces the airway to remain open when you’re sleeping which prevents the throat from closing up and causing apnea. Therefore, a tight seal of the mask is crucial.] I sat with it on for about ten minutes and had no problem. So, off I went with my new device.
I found myself being fairly depressed and could not place a finger on what had occurred to make me depressed. We had just gotten home from a great vacation. In general I have been feeling good. After doing a bit more reading, I put it together. I was grieving. Life as I had known it had irrevocably changed. I will have to use a CPAP for the rest of my life. Every night for the remainder of my life, I will need the assistance of a mechanical device to be able to sleep properly and not starve my body of oxygen. Intellectually, I have accepted that reality. Emotionally, I am still struggling with it. But the success that I have had with it has been very encouraging. I don’t have headaches when I wake up. I sleep better and more restfully. Joy tells me that I am not as restless in terms of changing positions as I had been and don’t snore anymore. I’m not sleepy during the day and my general outlook on life has gotten better. Will the positive changes last? Only time will tell. I know I still need to get off my butt and get some exercise and I’m hoping that my endurance will have increased thanks to getting more and better sleep.

Unlike many people I have encountered on on-line CPAP forums, I have had no problem sleeping with the mask. Part of that may be that it is not really a mask. But that may only be part of it. I have never had a problem falling asleep. It’s almost a joke among family and friends that if I’m sitting in the same position for five minutes, I’m probably asleep. So the physical adjustment has been the least of my problems. And if I have to be tied to this thing the rest of my life, I guess it’s not that much of a price to pay for the benefits. So, sleep well, everybody, and if you’re NOT sleeping well, find out why.