Boldly Going

“Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Her five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before.”

I briefly considered using the opening tag line from Star Trek: The Next Generation where the voice of Jean-Luc Picard intones these familiar words except that they boldly “go where one ONE has gone before.” But I settled on the original said by Captain Kirk because that is where Star Trek began and where my relationship with the show began. (Yes, kiddies, I am that old.)

My interest in science fiction (SF) began early in life thanks to my father’s influence. He had read science fiction since he was a boy and passed the interest on to me. I cut my teeth on the Tom Swift, Jr. series but soon moved on to mainstream SF the man I considered the god of SF authors, Isaac Asimov. There had been other TV series such as the Outer Limits and Rod Serling’s Twilight Zone but these were anthologies. When NBC announced a new series called Star Trek, both my father and I were very excited.

We waited eagerly for the debut. Finally the night came and we sat in front of the TV. (Mind you, it was a black and white with a screen somewhat ovoid in shape and it took a minute or so to warm up, got 13 channels and had dials that you actually had to adjust by hand. And no, Fred and Barney were not walking by outside with Dino on a leash.) The opening sequence came on followed by fade to black and the theme music with Captain Kirk’s voice saying the famous words printed above. No sooner had he said, “To boldly go,” when my father yelled, “What? That’s a split infinitive! How could they split an infinitive?” Now, I actually knew what that meant because he was a stickler for grammar and spelling. From then on, every week when it was on, he would mutter the same thing and shake his head sadly as if it meant the end of civilization as we knew it.

We would go to great lengths not to miss an episode. (Bear in mind this was before the VCR was even a glimmer in Panasonic’s or Sony’s minds.) The TV I mentioned above used vacuum tube technology. Periodically, one of these would burn out and would have to be replaced or, worse, something bad went wrong and someone actually came to our house to remove the innards of the set and took it to his shop to fix. That was the case for one episode. We called friends and asked if we could come over and watch on their TV. It wasn’t a show they watched but they were gracious enough to accommodate us. Another week, my mother was in the hospital recovering from surgery. Star Trek was on from 8:30 to 9:30 at the time. Visiting hours ended at 9:00. So there we were, sitting in her room watching Star Trek. I believe it was the episode “The Apple” which would put it in the second season. 9:00 rolls around and the nurse comes in to remind us that visiting hours were over. I’m not sure who looked more pathetic, my father or me, but whichever one of us it was, when we asked if we could stay to see the rest of the show, she just looked at us reprovingly, but closed the door to the room. My mother, who was still groggy from medication asked us why we were staying past visiting hours and we both said to see the rest of the episode. Scored major points there with Mom, both of us.

Callow youth that I was, I took the show at its word that it was going to last for five years. Alas, TV is not about promises it’s about ratings and after three years Star Trek disappeared. By this time my dad had died, but his words about split infinitives echoed every time I heard the opening line.

I was at Syracuse University when the show went into syndication. Every night at 6:00, seating space in the rec room of my fraternity became very scarce. We normally ate dinner at 5:30 and it became particularly important that we get done in time to be in our seats just before 6:00. The game became who can identify the episode fastest. At the start it was sufficient to be able to say, “the Tribbles episode,” or “the one with the Gorn” but after a few months you had to come up with the actual title. (Yes, I was one of the best at it. And while we’re on that subject, no, I am not nor ever was a “Trekkie!” Okay? Are we clear on that? I do not and never did live in my mother’s basement and I HAVE had carnal knowledge of a woman. Okay? Just so we’re clear.)

By the time I got out of the Air Force in 1977, I had become something of an expert on the show, having seen some episodes so many times that even I was tired of seeing them again. And of course, there was always the necessity of naming the episode in the first few seconds which prompted my wife to say, “If you know it that well, why bother watching it?” The only answer I could come up with was, “’Cause it’s Star Trek!” as if that explained EVERYTHING. Honestly. Sometimes women just do not get…hmm, maybe best not to go down that road.

There had been rumors of a Star Trek 2 with new uniforms and a redesigned Enterprise but nothing ever came of this idea…until in 1979, Star Trek: The Motion Picture was released. Captain Kirk was now and admiral. Kirk? An admiral? Oh NO! Despite the great special effects and the introduction of some new characters and different uniforms, it was a bit disappointing. It seemed like a glorified expansion of the episode “The Changeling” and, not for the last time, Kirk saves the Earth. And conveniently, the new navigator and the would-be captain disappear so ADMIRAL Kirk gets to keep the ship.

The original series kept appearing and disappearing as various networks picked up the syndication then dropped it. And of course, the same exchanges would take place as soon as I identified the episode. It got so bad that there were times my wife actually beat me to the punch. Then the conversation became, “If I know the episode, you’ve seen it way too many times! Why are you watching it again?” “’Cause it’s Star Trek,” said in a somewhat more subdued voice than in previous times.

I was aware that there were a growing number of novels based on the series and the period between the end of the series and the movies but I also realized that the only “real” Star Trek stories were the ones on TV and the movies so I didn’t bother reading them. (And this brings up a metaphysical question: What is “real” when you are dealing with an entirely fictional future? That is best left for another day and venue.)

In Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, we were treated to the return of Ricardo Montalban (yes, Mr. Rourke of “Fantasy Island” and the man who told us about Chryslers and their “rich Corinthian leather”) reprising his role of Khan Noonien Singh from the episode “Space Seed.” And Kirk has a son. A what? And one of the regulars on the crew was going to die! What? No! Say it ain’t so, Gene! (That’s Gene Roddenberry, the creator of Star Trek for you uninitiated people.) (And by the way, this movie started one of the great trivia questions: Name three regulars from the sitcom “Cheers” who appeared in Star Trek: Kirstie Alley in this movie, and Kelsey Grammer and Bebe Neuwirth in separate episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation.) The only good thing was that we true believers knew that this could not be the end of the movies. We just knew that Spock would be resurrected…somehow.

Sure enough, we were not left hanging for too long. Two years later Star Trek III: The Search for Spock, premiered. This movie is notable for two things. The first is that after stealing the Enterprise, Kirk, et al, are forced to destroy it. The second is Christopher Lloyd appearing as the villain Kruge. Because of his role on “Taxi,” it always strikes me as Jim Ignatowski, Klingon commander! And of course all the while, the original series kept coming and going and the number of episode that caused me to say, “Oh this one again,” was growing. Even I was getting picky about them.

Like clockwork, two years later came my favorite of the original cast movies, Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home. For a change, no one was trying to kill Kirk and the boys (and girl, let’s not forget Uhura), just a big old probe looking for whales on Earth that was destroying the planet because humanity had let whales die out. (Okay, it’s a bit preachy but it’s also the funniest movie. When we were in San Francisco I asked my wife if I could ask the first policeman I found if he could direct me, and said in a faux Russian accent, to the “nuclear wessels in Alameda.” That was met with a resounding NO. I briefly considered saying, “I never get to have any fun.” but thought better of that...) And of course Kirk and the boys, once again, save Earth. The bad news is that he gets busted back to captain for having stolen and destroying the Enterprise one movie ago. The good news is that he and the whole crew get a brand-spanking new Enterprise, with an “-A” attached to the name and registration number (NCC-1701 if you’re wondering).

And that fall, there was a whole new Star Trek TV series coming, Star Trek: The Next Generation. I will admit, that like Walter Koenig who played Pavel Chekov in the original series and movies, I resented this intrusion. Who cares if it takes place about 80 years after the original series. And who cares that it was also an Enterprise (the “-D” as it happens). And who cares if it’s still Starfleet? And there’s a Klingon in Starfleet and on the crew!? WTF? What are they trying to sell us? Oh sure, the sets were better, and the special effects were cooler than the movies and the sets and costumes had a much higher budget. Who do they think they are, anyway?

For the answer to that question, tune in for the next installment of Boldly Going.